The Self-Deluded Wordsmiths

This renegade organization of subterranean writers was founded by Louie Lentils. His brilliant quartet in verse, Hallelujah For Hygiene, is presented here for the first time. Poetry and prose by other members will be forthcoming.



Chlamydia, Chlamydia, what art thou Chlamydia,
A sexual disease transferable to Louis or Lydia.
Thee vile bacteria that causes painful urination,
Fever, abdominal pain, and irregular menstruation.
Though untreated you may disrupt the reproductive tract
Some simple antibiotics, to hell, send thy self back.



Its sister is Amen, its brother is Diah,
Gonnorrhea is something you shouldn’t try-a.
Discharges of the vagina and penis in particular,
Pain abdominal, pelvic and testicular.



Syphilis can bring on chancre sores
Commonly found on dirty street whores.
Flu-like symptoms, including anorexia,
Syphilis isn’t good for your complexia.
Forget about sex and stick to masturbation,
Since syphilis can cause severe retardation.



Some call them crabs, others call them lice,
This offender you can have more than twice.
They crawl among your pubic hair,
And grapple onto the clothers you wear.
They bite your skin and make it itchy,
Prolonged exposure will make you bitchy.


More poems from Louie Lentils

A poem by Handsome Charlie