Bayonna "Aunt Bee" Bridges (nee Brackishwater)


Born and raised in Old Bridge, New Jersey, Bayonna was the daughter of a Mennonite beekeeper and his half Cherokee wife Zipporiah. She married Homer Bridges four months after he placed an ad in the Newark Star Ledger for a mail-order bride.
Bayonna soon came to be known to family and friends as the original "Domestic Goddess". She was renowned for her
delectable honey-nut-cherry buns and gooey honey pies. She had a "come hither" look in her eye that beckoned many a neighbor and homesick traveler into her warm, fragrant kitchen for her tasty offerings.
She would often invite the local ladies to join her for tea and buns in order to organize demonstrations for women's suffrage. Bayonna coined the slogan, "Don't Be A Goat, Give Us The Vote" which became popular amongst Richmond County's suffragettes and its two political liberals.
A tragic accident befell Bayonna in her early forties. While at the Bridges' picnic in Silver Lake Park, she accidentally (and ironically) upset a beehive with her croquet mallet. They swarmed and chased her through the park for about twenty minutes. As she was running for her life, she ran smack into a sycamore tree. . . never to be the same again.
Bayonna developed a strange buzzing in her head, as she described it, which caused her to perform lewd acts in public, like lifting her skirts and winking at strange men. The men around the town couldn't contain themselves. Homer had to keep her indoors for the rest of her days, where she continued to make large batches of delectable honey-nut-cherry buns and gooey honey pies. Old Homer, at work from dawn to dusk, never knew that Bayonna kept her "kitchen door" wide open throughout the day. And, quite strangely, throughout the town, an unusually large number of men walked the streets. . . salivating.

 

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